Doing it in December!

After not having Zumba last week and having been sick myself this week I approached my scale this morning with no idea what to expect. What to my wondering eyes should appear but an early Christmas gift. 4.8lbs lost. Thrilled to say the least I immediately began my inner thigh exercises because everything helps and the more I lose the more I want to lose. This meets milestone number 3. Milestone number 4 only being 5lbs away. The reason for the closeness of these milestones, where most of them are 25lbs. apart, is because where most are set to the number I achieve on the scale this one is not. This milestone is based on the fact that when I go in to my doctors office and stare at the little weight chart on the wall I always find myself in the morbidly obese range. Always thinking 'so your saying I'm so fat I'm going to die'. Today I am officially out of that range! So now I'm just so fat I'll get really sick but probably not die :P  Next week I am sure will be a minor set back but at least now I am not in that range and I am happy for that.

Two weeks 'til the next speed bump....

Less than two weeks to go until Christmas and today's weigh in brought me to 2ozs. below my pre-Thanksgiving weight. Yay! Christmas is a potential 2 day speed bump. I don't plan on it being anywhere near as bad as Thanksgiving but honestly after today I just want to lose more. I'm thinking about skipping the festive eating so to speak and just eating normal. I'd rather see the results on the scale than join in with the over eating. It really isn't worth it and feeling this good is addictive. I think of how much more I have to lose and how good I feel right now. It just makes me think the more I lose the better I'm going to feel and it makes me want to keep pushing on.

Happy News!

I feel like I've been neglecting this blog as of late. I am late in telling you that I lost 5lbs. this week. Thus proving the fluff weight theory. I'm very pleased with that outcome and I have no doubt that last pound will be gone by next Wednesday. Struggling with a bit of the Christmas blues since there isn't much money for presents this year. Stressful time as always. I'm also stricken by how much of the holiday is celebrated by food. I'm really noticing my spirits are down because I'm not joining in with all the parties and things that I normally would. So much is about food that I just don't have any interest in being part of it. I have decided to make Christmas cookies for the kids and I have the calorie count of each one I'm making so if I eat them I'm gonna take it out of my 1200 for the day. I don't want a repeat of Thanksgiving. I'll splurge a little on the actual holiday but I don't want to feel as bad as I did in the days following Thanksgiving ever again. NOTHING tastes as good as thin feels. Those are my words to live by. I feel really good and I want to keep it that way. I still have so long to go but I'm a third of the way in and I'm still determined to make it all the way. :)

ahg.

So...... I gained 6.4lbs. I don't think it's even humanly possible to gain that much over 3 days but that's what the scale said. I know that part of it is fluff because i drank. I'm hoping most of that comes off with my next weigh in. until then.....

The day before....

Tomorrow's weigh in is looming over my head. I had a great Thanksgiving and for 3 days I ate and drank to my hearts content. By Sunday I felt horrible. Eating like that made me feel sick and sluggish. I'm still feeling the tired run down effects and I'm thinking no pie is worth this. I think I'll be more careful at Christmas time. The lack of energy alone is making me miserable. I'm sure tomorrow will be a nice kick in the head as well.
So, I'm sitting hear thinking about all the things people say about being fat to give themselves an excuse to be that way. I am not big boned. If I were that would not give me an excuse to be more than 10lbs overweight so where is the logic there. I do not have a slow metabolism. I did but eating better and more often made it faster. Problem solved. Losing weight after 30 is so much harder? Only because we get old and lazy. Do the work the weight comes off. It's that simple. At the end of the day it comes down to do you want it more than anything else? I always thought I did but it turned out that I didn't want it more than a slice of pizza or a piece of cake. Now I do. Now I want it more than any food ever made and ache ever felt. I want it so bad I'm gonna do it. I like having energy to do what I want and I like feeling a little better everyday. This feeling that I'm having now, I hate it. I'm sure in a few more days I'll be back to feeling good and I don't think all the Christmas cookies in the world could tempt me after this.

Overkill. :)

I wanted to lose 1.8lbs in order to hit the 70lb mark. That was the deal to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving weekend. I am very pleased to announce I lost 4.6lbs. I am amazed to say the least. I did eat very light this week and I worked my butt off. Success feels truly sweet. So a happy Thanksgiving to all. Until next week.

1.8lbs to Thanksgiving!

Today I lost 1.6lbs. This is especially impressive when you consider the fact that last Friday I drank beer with my husband. I thought I was done for. I'm very happy that although I seem to be faltering every other week at this point, I am still losing weight. I don't want this to be a habit however. I am giving myself a little break over the holidays. So I made myself the deal that I can splurge Thanksgiving weekend if I can hit 70lbs lost by next Wednesday. I have 1.8lbs more to lose to make that goal. I'm going to try really hard although I think at this point I've decided I'm going to have my three day splurge regardless. I'd like to make it just for my own personal satisfaction. I am noticing now a significant increase in my energy level. I'm trying to use that during Zumba classes to get a better work out. My apartment is much cleaner as a result too which is always nice. I feel stronger and I can see my legs really beginning to shape up. I just wish this belly would go. All in good time. :)

Reinforcing bad behavior

It's a beautiful day! I'm very ashamed to say that I cracked open another bottle of wine on Halloween. I also ate 2 cupcakes and 3 pieces of candy. I was however very good the rest of the week and snuck in an extra day of Zumba. All this amounted to a shocking 2.6lbs. loss. I'm thrilled of course but i don't recommend the naughty behavior to anyone. I feel like I am breaking my rules a little to often now so I have to put myself in check. Of course with the holidays approaching and the biggest food day of the year only 2 weeks away I'm worried. So, rather than stress I've made a deal with myself. If I can lose another 3.4lbs. by Thanksgiving, I will give myself a two day pass for Thanksgiving to eat what I want. Two weeks to do so not unreasonable. I'm not going to go crazy mind you but I will have wine and a small piece of pumpkin pie. I'm feeling really good today and I think I have a pretty good handle on myself. I still know I can't be trusted but I also know that this time is it. I'm going all the way to skinnyville. So a day here or there when I break my rules won't break me.

That's a load off....

Wow! My bad behavior didn't do any more damage than last weeks gain. I lost 2.4lbs this week which covers what I gained and plus another pound off. I'm feeling pretty happy about that. Plus I'm finally out of the 70s so I feel better. Seemed like I was there for months. Now I'm ready for a quick trip through the 60s and into the 50s before Christmas. That would be nice. :) 64lbs down and 149 to go. Wow I still have a whole person to lose. I can do it!

la la la whatever!

I've been avoiding my weekly post because I went on my trip to Maine and I had a blast. I drank wine with my bff and I ate all the things I'm not supposed to eat. The rules are nothing white, no bread, no cheese and no butter. I had everything except the butter. I did get sick one day because my stomach was not used to eating like that. I gained 1lb. 4oz. and truthfully I'm thankful that's all it was. I came home and got right back on track but I fear for Wednesday. I'm concerned that the previous week isn't done catching up with me. I'm also fearful that Zumba will be cancelled tonight because of hurricane Sandy. At least I have my DVDs at home now so i can still Zumba even if there is no class. Take care and I'll talk to you on Wednesday.

Last night I had the strangest dream.....

Seriously, last night I dreamt I was so wide I couldn't fit through doors. Anxiety much. Wow. I just had to share. I woke up thinking WTF! Funny thing is people are commenting today about how they are really seeing the weight loss now. Weird. This weekend I'm off to Massachusetts and then on to Maine to see my bff. I'm excited but worried about eating things that are bad for me. At least I know there is a Panera's where I'm going in Massachusetts so I'll be eating there tonight. I'm just afraid my bff is my wine buddy so I will be tempted. Wish me luck. Maybe that dream will keep me from doing anything stupid.

Finally :D

Finally, a happy post. I feel like the last several have been real downers and for that i apologize. It is an inevitable fact that there will be tough times in ones life. I'm happy to say that today is not that time. I feel good. The feared plateau was averted. I zumba'd a total of 5 times last week which was awesome. I also have begun doing crunches. 60 of them a day. sounds like a lot but i break into 3 sets of twenty and they are not terrible because i do them in my chair at work simply by leaning back tightening my core and pulling my knees and chest together. Every little bit i can do helps and this week it helped to the tune of 3.4lbs!!!! I couldn't be more thrilled. Headed for Zumba again tonight. Here's hoping I can keep the ugly plateau monster away.



On my way  down once more :)



Plateau.

Well here we are. Six months in and at a dead stand still. Well not a complete stand still. I lost 4oz. Frustrating to say the least. I have zumba 3 times this week so hopefully that will help. I also have my DVDs so I can zumba everyday at home. Hopefully, that will make the difference. I'm trying to stay positive. I knew eventually a plateau would come I was just really hoping it would be much farther down the road. I'll look at it this way. I started at the top of a 215 foot rock. I've climbed down 60feet and now I'm resting on a flat ridge. When I'm ready I'll get up and climb down some more, but while i rest I'm not taking off my gear. I'll keep it on so when it's time to descend I'll be ready.

into the grind

Today's weigh in while at least better than last week was not so impressive. I lost 1.6lbs this week which is only .4 over 2 weeks ago. At least i recovered what I had inexplicably gained but still nothing to write home about. I was going to cancel the gym membership I have held for the last year because I have Zumba. Now, I realize if I'm truly going to take off all this weight and have the body I want then I can't be complacent or lazy. I have to go all out. So tonight I Zumba and tomorrow I hit the gym. It's go time. Six months in and I can fall back and give up or I can step up and get it done. I choose to step it up!

Rude Awakening

This past Friday my family and I had family portraits done. You can imagine where I'm going with this. I was mortified. I had joked prior to the picture being taken that this would be my before picture. I figure even though I have lost almost 60lbs no one really needs to see how bad I looked before. When I saw the picture of myself my heart broke. No one likes pictures of themselves I get that but this was worse than I could have imagined. I sat there staring at what basically looked like what I was before I lost any weight. I thought no wonder people barely notice. I'm hideous. The thing that bothered me the most was that when I look in the mirror I see the changes but I didn't in that picture. Truth be told the mirror lies so I was faced with a very harsh reality. One I already knew but none the less hard to face. I am at a completely unacceptable weight and I need to continue. I guess in a way it was good for me to be reminded that I'm not any where near done yet. Still, it hurt to know that all the hard work just hasn't made as much of an improvement as I thought. In time I hope I'll be able to look at a picture of myself and say 'that looks nice' but I'm afraid I'm a long way off from that day yet.

Into every life some rain must fall

Another Wednesday, another weigh in. I'm not going to pretend I'm not disappointed to have seen an 8oz gain when I got on the scale this morning. It was to be expected after almost 2 weeks of being way under calories and now finally being able to get back up to 1200. It does not however make it any easier to take. Especially given all the changes I have been seeing and the fact that I feel amazing. It just seems so contradictory to how I feel. Having said that I should be thinking that the scale isn't what matters. As anyone with a weight issue knows however the scale is my master and it has given me a harsh beating this week after two weeks in a row of treating me like a queen. It's a harsh reality but I have to remember it's only 8oz not 8lbs so I should be happy. Averaging my weigh loss over three weeks it also has me on a 2lb a week average which is where I want to be so I guess I have to just take a deep breath and focus on the coming week. The past is done and each day is a new chance to improve. Off to Zumba tonight and I think I will be working my fanny extra hard tonight.

addictive personalities

I just had a thought this weekend and I figured I'd share. I have always believed myself to have an addictive personality. I tend to find things I like and I latch on with a vengeance. It has often been true with movies and books and I would even say food. In the almost 6 months since I have been eating in a more healthy way I can say I believe my food addition to be broken. I find eating more of a chore than a treat. I eat because I have to in order to survive and truthfully I like it better this way. Over the last few days I notice a new addiction forming. I believe that I am addicted to weight loss. Everyday now I am seeing changes in my body. Things I had grown miserably accustomed to are changing for the better and with the deepening of each curve and the thinning of each crease I find it gives me almost a high. Of all things I noticed my shins have thinned out and gained some muscle definition. My hips when laying on my side no longer have a hump but now form a smooth curve. The feeling is so far beyond the simple joys of seeing the reduced number on the scale. It seems over night people have begun to see the difference and I am thrilled to say the next size down has become loose. I wore my original size jeans this weekend (due to a need to do laundry) and they were so loose they almost fell down twice. I feel better than I have in so long it's mind boggling. My only concern is that I will not know when to stop. Like so many things in my life I worry that thin will not be thin enough for me. I have no doubt in my mind that I will succeed in losing all the weight. Now I fear that I will get too thin because I just won't be satisfied. I will always want to lose one more pound. For now I have plenty more to lose so I will try not to concern myself too much. Wow this is awesome. I wish everyone could feel this way.

what a week.

Hi,
  It's weigh in day again. This week I took off a somewhat startling 4.4lbs. My calorie intake has been much lower than it should be due to the fact that without a car I can only bring home as many groceries as I'm willing to walk a mile carrying. I'm sure walking all that way made a difference too. I also came down with a pretty bad cold that left me with a primary diet of tea. I guess it was a perfect storm of events but I'm concerned that one, I'm getting sick too often. So I think it's time to seriously consider that multivitamin. Secondly, I'm loosing too fast so I need to get a car (which I think I have found) because I need to get enough food so I can slow the loss back down to 2lbs a week. My worst fear is doing all this work only to find I'm left with a thin body and yards of baggy skin. I am feeling stronger though. I notice muscle definition in my legs which is nice. My jean's are beginning to get loose again so I will need to go shopping soon for another pair. I also hit another milestone in my plan which is 275lbs. That is such a huge number but coming from 335lbs it's a huge improvement. Of course with the scale change and the 2lb differential it's really a 57lb loss but that's nothing to scoff at. However, no matter how much better I feel I am in no way delusional enough to think that 275lbs is good. So I continue on.
M

Life sure knows how to kick you when your down.

Hi,
  Please forgive me if i'm a little depressing this week. My car died yesterday, as in I have to find a way to buy a new one died. It couldn't have come at a worse time because after taking my step daughter to school I have had no money. My kids are living off mac n cheese and ramen noodles and since I can't eat that it's a steady diet of cereal and brocolli for me. I lost 3lbs this week which is not as good as it would be if I were eatting enough. This has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life and that is really saying alot since I was a single mom for 3 years. Through all the trouble I am still doing my Zumba classes and it helps relieve alot of the stress. I would be a mess without that to look forward too. I'm also lucky to be blessed with a helpful family for support so at least I have a light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully next week I can buy some healthier food and we can all eat properly but until then the struggle continues. On the bright side the weight is still coming off and tomorrow for better or worse will be another day. Here's hoping next week brings a happier post.

50LBs Less!!

Pardon me if I ramble today but I haven't had a lot of sleep. I almost forgot to weigh in again this morning mostly because I forgot it was Wednesday. The holiday is messing with my head I guess. Anyway I lost another 1.6lbs which means I have reached a total of 50lbs lost. I'm pretty happy about that although I still have a long way to go this is very good progress. I don't know if it's because of the loss that I am noticing my spare tire more but my lower abdomen is making me crazy. That weight is by far the most annoying thing on my body at the moment. I'm hyper aware of it. This is an off week for Zumba which means I have no class for 2 weeks straight but when we start again next week we will be adding ab exercises. I'm really hoping this helps. I just want all this fat off me. I know it will take time and slow and steady wins the race but it's tiring. I just want to be thin. This fat feels gross. I'm surprised I didn't feel that before. I feel it hanging on me and I want it gone.

It's hard to believe but after almost 6 months of getting on the scale every Wednesday I actually forgot to weigh in yesterday. So this week weigh in day is today.  I spent most of last week sick and as a result sleeping more than anything. I also missed my last two zumba classes. I really didn't know what to expect and I was pleased to see that I had lost another 2.8lbs making my total 48lbs lost! I'm getting to the point where people are starting to ask me 'how much weight have you lost' and I'm thinking that question is going to become embarrassing to answer. Not that I'm not proud of what I'm accomplishing but I'm not looking to shout 'hey guess what i used to be 50lbs more than I am now and yeah I'm still fat'. When that total is 100lbs and I'm still really heavy it's not going to feel good to admit I was that big. Mind you it's not as embarrassing as being as big as I was I just don't think I want to make a big deal about it. Maybe I'll start down playing my numbers. So when i reach my goal of 120lbs I can just smile and say 'oh yeah I lost 35lbs all together.   :-)  I see these people on Yahoo lately who lost 102lbs or 170lbs and I think I never want to be that person. I'd like to just quietly take off 215lbs shhhhh don't tell anyone. It will be our secret and if I can do it slowly enough maybe no one will notice. So far it's working. lol. That's not entirely true. Recently, people have begun to notice and make comments about how good I look and that does make me feel good but I just think as far as anyone needs to know we can keep my numbers small.

I'm happy to say I got up and started walking in the right direction. This has been a really difficult week for me in all parts of my life. I was very happy to see the scale this morning registering a 6.4lb loss. That tells me that last weeks gain was fluff. So I'm feeling pretty good today. My total loss as of today is 45lbs. I'm proud of that total but then I've been here before. I need to loose it all not just some so I keep going.

Hello world,
  It's been a bit since I was away on vacation and there was no Internet access on the lake. I arrived at the lake house on Tuesday and knowing I had to weigh in the next day (yes I brought my scale with me) I was good the first night. I was rewarded with a 2 and a half pound loss. Wednesday we went on a wine tour. It was a great deal of fun but I had far too much to drink. Overall I was very well behaved all week. The only really bad thing I ate was half a piece of cheese cake which admittedly is very bad. The big issue was that I was with my family and we drank too much most of the time. I knew that I would pay this week but nothing could have prepared me from this morning. I almost forgot it was weigh in day. I kinda wish I had. Not even 2 days of Zumba in a row could save me from the alarming 4.2lb gain I was greeted with this morning. Part of me feels like the scale must be wrong but I know weight loss isn't easy and weight gain is too easy.  The fact is I spent 3 days drinking liquid fat and that is the result. So, I came home on Saturday and got right back on track. That's all I can do. The gain is in my past and now I move forward. Today is a new beginning and I'm not going to beat myself up over my mistakes. This is a long road I'm on and if I occasionally need to sit down at the side of the road and take a break that's fine. As long as I don't turn back when i get up and start walking in the wrong direction I'll get to my destination eventually. :)

Good Morning, it's weigh in day again. This week I went out and bought a weight watchers scale because I have heard they are supposed to be very accurate. Well, I used my old scale this morning which gifted my hard work with a 3lb weight loss. I was very pleased with this. I then hoped on the weight watchers scale. Hmmm this scale credited me with a 5lb. loss. I think I'll play it safe and count from the old scale. Yay 3lbs. that's awesome and I'm happy with that. Next week I will begin counting down from the new scale and I will just leave that 2lbs in limbo where I'm sure it belongs. On a much more important note then scale drama I feel great today. I noticed right when I woke up this morning that my 'back fat' ( those of you who have it know what I mean) had gone down and that my legs felt slimmer on the outer thighs. All those squats finally paying off. Of course the difference is in millimeters and it is only noticeable to me. I have lost a total of 41lbs. now and I'm very proud of myself. Not a soul notices or says anything but I don't let it get to me.  I know one day I'll reach the point when I have lost over 100lbs and someone will finally look at me and say 'have you lost weight?' to which I will promptly reply 'I don't know maybe a few pounds'. :)  Next week is my vacation in wine country (well NY wine country). It could be a real test for me or maybe I will paddle out to the middle of the lake in a canoe with my copy of Walden and commune with nature. I may not have Internet out there so it may be a while before you hear from me again but I will be back.

Yesterday was a really tough day. Not eating wise just life wise. I had a bit of an epiphany. I decided that I don't want to be an accountant anymore. Apparently changing my body isn't enough for me. I need to change my whole life. So, I've decided to go back to school to study environmental science and try my hand at saving the world. In comparison loosing a couple hundred pounds seems like a breeze :)  I had a really good work out at zumba yesterday. I don't know why the whole world doesn't do it. Actually i do. I thought it was kinda dumb before i tried it but now i have the best time at it and i look forward to it every week. I'd like to thank those of you who have joined me in my journey. It's nice to know someone is listening. :)

Weigh in day again. It has been ridiculously hot here recently as in most of the US. As a result I feel under calories again. I never know how this will pan out on the scale but this morning I was optimistic having notices several places shrinking on me this week. I was shocked when I stood on the scale and found that it was reading 3lbs heavier. I knew that couldn't be right so i stepped off. Gave it a good kick and got on again to see a half pound loss. Needless to say that shook my confidence a bit. I'm trying to focus on the way I feel today which is great rather than what my crazy scale is feeding me. I think maybe I'll invest in a new one. Since that one is old and clearly lying to me and trying to sabotage my efforts. Evil scale. Planning to work extra hard at zumba tonight just to be safe. :)

I was thinking this morning about how much easier things are for me now. Simple things that should have always been easy but weren't because all the excess weight. I'm happy that things are getting better. It makes me feel like even though I've only just begun this journey I'm doing well. I notice my hips are finally beginning to get smaller. That makes me extremely happy because my waist and hip are wear most of my weight is not that i don't have too much everywhere else as well. At least it's starting to melt away and soon, although it feels like forever, all of it will be gone. :)

Hi world,
 I would apologize for not having written in a few days except i don't have any subscribers and I'm pretty sure all the views i have so far are just random searches that glance and then go away. so since no one is really listening I'll continue on talking to myself. This week was really hectic. Work was really busy and even though i had 2 days off I came back to such a mess that I still felt like I worked a full week. Good news is I lost another pound and a half. That makes 38 total. I feel really good. The zumba classes are really helping to make me feel stronger. I'm still struggling to get all my calories in staying mostly around 1000 instead of 1200. I never thought I'd have a problem eating enough but I'm really never hungry anymore. It's kinda cool. I also realized that i have broken my pattern of only loosing a half pound every third week which is awesome. Any way the weekend is here and i have to watch the clock to try to remind myself to eat. 10am and i just ate breakfast. That is so bad. hopefully I'll remember lunch before 4. Talk to myself soon. :)

First Milestone Achieved! Another awesome weigh in day. I lost 3.5lbs. I'm thinking this zumba class is making a difference so I'm excited to start my twice a week classes beginning with tonight. I feel really good and I've met my first of 12 milestones set for myself. So this weekend I buy new socks. It's an odd reward but i need them so now i get them. :)

Hi, took a little time off for the 4th. I found it a real struggle this week to get all my calories in so as a result i lost an amazing 5.5lbs. I'm eating better so far today but I'm afraid that next week this will cause a gain. I've decided to go ahead and do zumba 2 nights a week. Hopefully this will keep the gain at bay. Wish me luck. :)

So, I went to Zumba last night. I wore heavy sweat pants which is not advisable in 90+ degree heat. I felt like i didn't work hard enough the week before because I didn't feel the pain afterward. I set out this week to really work it. I sweat hard and I took the squats as deep as I could stand and the lunges as high as I could. I worked hard and about 2/3 through the class I started to feel sick and dizzy and it was everything I could do to make it to the end. I don't advise that approach to exercise at all. I felt awful all night long. Today however I don't really ache but I feel stronger. I think I'm gonna start doing it twice a week. :) I will pace myself though. No more overdoing it.

Wow, that was a very hard weekend. I went to the movies on Friday where i've gotten in the habit of only getting water but afterward, my friend wanted me to have drinks with her and i was so tempted. I ended up drinking more water so it was all good. The next day however found me wanting to drink again. It was warm and sunny and just the kind of day my husband and I would have sat on our balcony and drank beer and listened to music. Somehow though I didn't do it and, by yesterday I barely got over 700 calories which is not good either. I skipped the gym but i'm not going to beat myself up over that. I have Zumba tonight and I will just have to work extra hard. Here's to restrengthening my resolve. :)

Food is not entertainment. That is such a big point in eating better. I eat to sustain not to have fun. Having been heavy most of my life I can say that not only am I a total food addict but I used it as a source of fun and entertainment. I see people around me now doing it all the time. Some people can afford to do that but, for someone like me who sees a cake or something cheesy and greasy and gets an endorphin high, I can't look at food that way anymore. I have to change and I think i'm well on my way to seeing food as a means to sustain and nothing more. Bread, Cheese, Butter, and Sugar are my enemies. Although i still get sugar in my fruits and yogart I have cut the other 3 out almost completely. I'm not saying that that is the answer to everyone's problem but it's my answer. I think everyone needs to find the answer that is right for them.

Today is a really good day. I feel good. It's been a while since I could say that. I'm feeling odd little places where i have lost weight too which is nice. I feel it on the side of my knee which is just weird. I also notice that the fat on my lower abdomen looks more noticable when I sit down which means the fat in my upper abdomen has gone down. That is pretty cool. Hopefully next weigh in I can hit the 30lb marker. Still so far to go but I'm not gonna stop til I reach my goal. Oh the Liver has fat on it so that needs a diet too. :)

2lbs. this week!!! That makes a total of 27.5lbs. It's a start anyway. Sometimes this feels like such a long road I feel like i'll never reach the end. I need to find the strength to be happy with every small victory. 2lbs is a victory and as long as I don't lose hope all will be worth it in the end.

I apologize that another day ended up being several days later. I only made it to the gym on Saturday. My liver is not doing well so that is a little set back as i feel tired alot more lately. I have Zumba tonight so i'm sure that will kisck my butt again. Still eating well so hopefully the weigh in on Wednesday will still be good. I'm not feeling like I lost much but who knows. Started eating greek yogart yesterday. Not the most fabulous tasting stuff out there but it's full of good things so I decided to add it to my routine and see if it doesn't help me stay healthy. Only time will tell. In the mean time i'm sticking to 1200 calories and doing my best. ttyl. M.

Crazy tired today. The heat is ridiculous. We'll chat another day. :)

Zumba kicked my butt. I loved it though and i will continue to go to that class every week just cause it's fun. I weighed in this morning to find I had only lost half a pound. These are the weeks that really kick me in the head. It's so frustrating because i did more good things this week and lost less. I'm hoping i will see the results next week. I refuse to let the scale rule my mood. A loss is a loss after all. It's just too easy to be hard on myself. Onward at all cost.

What an incredible weekend!!! The weather was perfect and I began both days by going to the gym and getting on an exercise bike for 25min. I felt so good I went home and cleaned the house. The more I did the harder I found it to sit still. As a result I did all the work early and found I had lots of time to enjoy myself. That was a refreshing switch. I'm really excited today because I'm going to try Zumba for the first time. I'm hoping it will be lots of fun. At the very least it will get me moving and that is the main goal. Stay in motion.

It's Friday! I love Fridays because I get to wear jeans to work. Jeans are a big deal when you're loosing weight. They can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Today I love them. When I put them on this morning they were an instant ego boost. When I started this journey they were tight all over. Today they are loose and they are sitting lower on my hips. As a result they are too long and I'm rockin' the gangsta fab today.  I have to keep pulling them up and every time I do it makes me smile. It's a great feeling to know I'm thinner than I was just last week. That should be the first rule of weight loss. Buy Jean that are a little snug or at least that fit just right. They will emphasize even the smallest successes.

Good Morning world. It's yet another day in the wonderful world of weight loss. Today I'm less tired than i have been most mornings for the last ten years or so. I feel some very subtle changes in my body. Although I have a long way to go and I'm still very heavy I feel thinner. Not thin mind you but a little thinner today than i felt yesterday and that is a very good feeling.

Today is my weigh in day. I lost another 2lbs. bringing me to 25lbs total. I weigh in every Wednesday. This all began 8 weeks ago when a co-worker mentioned she was starting weight watchers. I had been thinking about loosing weight for a while but i just didn't have that moment when the switch flips and I'm ready. Well our boss heard her talking and said we should lose 50lbs. together. We all agreed and now here we are 8 weeks later at a combined 66lb loss. They are both involved in weight watchers but i am a calorie counter. I also watch sugar and fat and try to trade those calories for protein and fiber whenever possible.  There is nothing easy about losing weight. It's hard work. In the end though the payoff is worth it. :)

Where to start? For the last 8 weeks I have completely changed the way i eat and how I look at food. I don't eat because i love food or because i'm bored anymore. Now food is just a source to stay alive and I eat it only to keep my metabolism working. So far I have lost 25lbs. This would be wonderful, and really it is, except for the fact that I have almost 200 more to go. I've been keeping a diary of how things are going but I decided to go ahead and put it out here in the hope that maybe my successes and failures will help others along the way. So, welcome to my blog.