Think positive.....even when you feel like crap.

2lb gain this week. I'm killing myself with all this fluctuating over the last 2 months. I'm trying not to get discouraged. I have to stop the cheat days for a while. only problem is Friday is my son's graduation and I will be cheating but I think I have to scale it back to just a small piece of his graduation cake and order a salad at diner. Then I have to be on the straight and narrow until the family reunion next month. I know I'll be a mess then. 11 days with no formal exercise and no doubt eating bad. I will have to really buckle down after that. I do intend to bring my Zumba tapes with me though so hopefully I'll get some exercise and I'm hoping to do a whole lot of rowing, swimming and maybe hiking. I've been reading back over journal entries I made in the early days of this journey before I started this blog. It's funny to think I felt pretty much the same as I do now. I'm more disgusted with myself now though. I know that is kinda backwards but in the beginning I felt unhealthy but not really disgusted. Now I feel more healthy but I'm disgusted by the fat that just hangs on my body. I want to be under 200lbs so bad I can't stand it. It's been 20 years since I have been under that weight and I'm sick and tired of being this fat thing. It's awful to think I lost so much and I am still so big. I'll hope my discontent will be the catalyst for change. I think I may incorporate some leg lifts into my morning routine. I'm sure if I can just tighten up this lower abdomen I will feel much better about myself. Until next week..... Be Well.

Wow! That worked better than expected.

I lost 6.2lbs this week. After doing this for over a year I have to say I'm shocked I can still have such a big loss. I guess having gained for the last month I shouldn't be shocked. I am thrilled though. That puts me at 102lbs  lost. YAY!! It also means I am officially turning back that counter and forgetting the last 100 and starting from 2lbs. If anyone asks that's what I've lost 2lbs. :) I'm proud of my accomplishment but I don't really feel the need to advertise that i was once 100lbs heavier. That's just embarrassing. Especially when I'm still way over 200lbs and I have fat everywhere. I feel pretty awesome though. I've upped my weights a little at the gym and my core has a fairly pleasant tightening ache. I feel stronger. Muscles are my fat burning friends. I don't get these people that go to the gym and lift 20lbs. I don't want to be all muscular and bulky but I do want to build enough muscle to help burn the fat and make my body look toned. It's tightening up and people notice the difference better than they ever did with just weight loss. I have more energy and I feel great. I lift 50lbs for arms and chest and 80 to 170lbs for legs, back and core. I don't have any bulging muscles from that but i do have some definition which is nice. If anything does get bulky I'll just lower my weights. After all muscles are easy to lose. This weekend and next are cheat weekends so we'll see how I do. I really want to lose 10 more pounds by my family reunion next month. (especially because I will probably put 10lbs on while I'm there) Wish me luck!

Back to the basics.

This week has greeted me with a 4oz gain. Not bad considering last week and the insane cheat day I had on Saturday. Sunday I decided that it was time to start over. That thought is only confirmed by this weigh in which is the 5th week of gaining in 6 weeks. So I have returned to the 2 hour interval eating. Something I had been slacking on. I had taken to only have one snack in the morning and one in the afternoon. It really has to be two in order to keep my metabolism working in high gear. I've gone back to my daily cucumber. It's just one of those extreme low calorie snacks that just makes you feel good. I've gone back to putting a slice of lemon in my water which also just makes me feel good. As always my calories are limited to 1200 a day but i am eliminating the cheat day until i can get back to more steady weight loss. NO bread, NO cheese, and NO starch. Those are still the main rules. No fatty or greasy foods of course. I am already feeling better again. Next week should yield some improvement. Until then be well.

OK Panic!!!!!!!

I have gained for the second week in a row. 1.6lbs this week. :( What's worse is that I ate bad for 5 days straight. It's a wonder I didn't gain more and I won't be surprised if next week pays for it as well. Yesterday was my son's birthday so I did not go to the gym. Today is a Zumba day thankfully, so I will use that as a way to get back on track. (repeats to self - Nothing tastes as good as thin feels) I fear spiraling back into the fat life. I have too far to go to start slipping now. I'm not even half way! This is definitely something I have to put a stop too right away. I see myself using food as a comfort tool. Right now with the state my life is in I really need the comfort but I need to stay strong. I let myself go for a couple of weeks but I have to stop now or a small gain is going to turn into a big one. If I were a scientist studying myself I would be noting how quickly my body adapted to the fatty foods again. I would also note how quickly my energy was sapped away. I have been so tired for the last two days I can barely keep my head up. Lack of sleep isn't helping there either. It's a good lesson though. I can't stop. The healthy eating the exercise it's all a way of life. It's my life now. If I want to continue to lose weight and be more healthy, I need to keep it up. I think I'll try going to the gym on Thursday this week instead of Friday. It's going to be very hot on Friday. Wish me luck!

DON'T Panic!!!!!

Ok, I gained 2lbs. this week. This is a really bad trend I'm on but I'm not gonna get on myself too hard because I am going through some seriously bad life trauma right now. Times like this or going to happen in life. I hope not too often because right now it's a little ridiculous. I will be strict this week and turn it around. Keep your fingers crossed for me. :)

Doing better than I feel

I lost 3.8lbs this week. That's a real good week. So why do I feel so fat today? Over the previous 2 weeks I gained a total of 5.2lbs and i didn't feel as bad as I do today. I think it will just force me to work harder so that's good. I need to get the other 1.4lbs off so i can start counting over. :)

Life Happens.

Unfortunately, the one thing in life that can not be avoided is life. Everyone has struggles and everyone has their dark moments to survive. I can tell you that the past week and a half has been the darkest I have lived through since my mother died. I'm not going to get into the details but it's not over yet. I gained 1.2lbs last week after the 100lb celebration and the son's 18th birthday. This week I gained a staggering 4lbs. It was a tough blow but not at all surprising. I had some family gatherings and some drinking and I knew I was going to pay. I'm back on track now and I expect that weight to be gone in the next couple of weeks. Then I can focus on taking off the next 100lbs.