2lb gain this week. I'm killing myself with all this fluctuating over the last 2 months. I'm trying not to get discouraged. I have to stop the cheat days for a while. only problem is Friday is my son's graduation and I will be cheating but I think I have to scale it back to just a small piece of his graduation cake and order a salad at diner. Then I have to be on the straight and narrow until the family reunion next month. I know I'll be a mess then. 11 days with no formal exercise and no doubt eating bad. I will have to really buckle down after that. I do intend to bring my Zumba tapes with me though so hopefully I'll get some exercise and I'm hoping to do a whole lot of rowing, swimming and maybe hiking. I've been reading back over journal entries I made in the early days of this journey before I started this blog. It's funny to think I felt pretty much the same as I do now. I'm more disgusted with myself now though. I know that is kinda backwards but in the beginning I felt unhealthy but not really disgusted. Now I feel more healthy but I'm disgusted by the fat that just hangs on my body. I want to be under 200lbs so bad I can't stand it. It's been 20 years since I have been under that weight and I'm sick and tired of being this fat thing. It's awful to think I lost so much and I am still so big. I'll hope my discontent will be the catalyst for change. I think I may incorporate some leg lifts into my morning routine. I'm sure if I can just tighten up this lower abdomen I will feel much better about myself. Until next week..... Be Well.
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