Everyday a new victory.....sort of.

Today's weigh in leaves me 3.4lbs lighter and now at a total loss of 91lbs. Just nine more to go until the big 100. I feel good and I'm happy but I'm not willing to give myself too much of a pat on the back. When I start congratulating myself on a job well done that is when I'm going to get lazy. I'm not even half way to my total goal yet so I have to look at this for what it is. Yes I've done well and yes I feel better in some ways. In other ways I feel awful. I can feel every ounce of fat that clings to my body and I hate it. I want it all off. I'm not going to stop until I can no longer feel the dense hanging flab that still clings to me. When I am tone and my skin feels smooth and tight then I'll be happy. I refuse to hear the people who say it won't happen. Why can't I be the most perfect version of myself. I'm horrified by how often people throw crutches at me. "let's face it we'll never be a super model" So what? That means I shouldn't strive to be the best me I can be? I don't buy it. I'm not looking to be a super model. I just want to be happy with myself. I want to be happy to try on new clothes and I want to see myself in the mirror and be able to say 'wow i really look good' I don't think that's unrealistic even if my definition of looking good is a bit more judgemental than other people would be. I know in my heart I can be far better than what I am today and so the journey continues.