Strange days indeed.

I can't really explain how I lost 2.6lbs this week. I was better behaved it's true. At least up until last night when I made home made fried chicken and onion rings. I don't know what I was thinking eating that before a weigh in day but it leaves me wondering what the loss would have been had I not eaten that. I do feel like I'm finally moving in the right direction. My nasty little fried food escapade aside. I've been eating better and having fewer days where I fall of the wagon so to speak. I do believe the fried food will catch me but hopefully if I can be good until next weigh in maybe I won't see it. Until then.....be well.
M

hanging in

Another week and another gain of 1.4lbs. Looking back I see that I have been hovering between 234 and 237 for the past 3 months. I'm frustrated with myself but at the same time I feel like I'm taking a break from all the hard work. I'm starting to feel fat. Let's face it at this weight I am still fat but now I feel it. That bloated gaining feeling. It's awful. I want to stop it but I'm in a very bad place. I take comfort in the fact that the gain has been minimal and I have not gone overboard. I do now that I need to find a way back to the place I was but I realize that this is all part of the journey. It wouldn't make sense for it to be smooth sailing the whole way. If it were everyone would be thin. This is hard. But stick with me. I have faith that I will see this through. It may take longer than I wanted but I will still get there. I will find my way back to that tunnel I was in. That focused zone where losing was easy because it was the most important thing to me. It may take me a little while but I will get there and when I do I'll take off this next 100lbs and finally meet my goal. Until next week.......Be well.
M

Sorry... busy days at work.

Assuming that last week was a 2.5lb loss that means I gained 2ozs. this week. Honestly, I don’t think that is really too bad considering it still means I’m down 2.3lbs from the week before so I’ll take it. More next week.  Be well.

M

Don't think just do it!

After weeks of struggling and trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong and why I lost my motivation it hit me. Don’t think about it. When I think about it I get upset with myself and I behave badly. Also if I want a food that would be against the rules and I sit and think about it I will dwell on how it would taste and then I will crave it and then the craving will become a need.  I managed to lose this week although I somehow managed to forget the number by the time I got to the computer. I either lost 2.4lbs or .4 but I don’t really care which. The important part is that I lost. I feel so much better too. There is already more energy. It’s funny that being hungry gives you energy.  I feel good and that’s the most important part of all. Now back to my mission to get under 200lbs by Christmas.  Until next week, be well.

M

Meltdown

3.6lbs gained. I can’t even begin to explain where I am.  I’m sinking. I’m not doing well. I had the worst week yet. I can’t seem to get a grip on my downward spiral.  The one thing I won’t do is give up. I still believe that if I slide back I will die. I need to lose this weight. I have to find a way to get myself back on track. Feeling cold and tired all the time. This is not good. Wish me luck.

Go figure.

I lost 1.2lbs. I didn’t expect that. It was a very nice surprise. I don’t really think I deserved it but I’ll take it. I’m still struggling but as long as I can avoid any significant weight gain I know I’ll snap out of it and be ok. There is a reason it’s called a journey and now a quick walk. It takes time and life happens. The important thing is where I end up and learning to enjoy the journey. Until next week…..Be well.   M

Side note.

I woke up late this morning. Cold air is making it difficult to get out of bed. Not a great week. Mostly good but the bad days usually win on the scale. I'll check in tomorrow and let you all know how it went.
M