Almost a year.....

It occurs to me that I have been struggling since last April although I didn't really begin to gain untill the end of July. I gained 1.8lbs for the second week in a row. :( It's become a constant thought that I need to find a way back on track. I know my health is in peril but I still eat with wild abandon. I hurt and I feel bad but nothing seems to make me care. I think about how good I felt when I was losing verses how bad I feel now. I continually tell myself that I need to do something but then I give in to every little craving. I don't know what's wrong with me or why I can't make myself care but there has to be a way.  Be well.
M

just a note

Work has been busy so i haven't had a chance to write. I've been hopping up and down. 2lb gain 2lb loss and then last week another 2.lb gain. I'm not looking forward to this Wednesday since my pants are so tight I can barely ware them. I've been watching myself slide so long now I just can't figure out what's wrong. I don't care right now and I can't seem to make myself care but i feel awful. It hurts gaining weight. I have pain everywhere and I just feel generally terrible. I just can't figure why when I know how much better it feels to be losing instead that i just can't get myself in line. I am clearly an addict in need of jumping back on the wagon. I just can't seem to find that click to get me back in line. It's sad because I can feel that I'm eating myself to death. I'll check back on Wednesday.
M