What is it with me and burritos?

Lately, I have been eating burritos way too often. Moe's, Taco bell, Chipotle, It doesn't matter where I seem to be obsessed. Then of course all that sodium gets me craving sweets. I just give in to it all. Not even trying to stop myself anymore. Today's weigh in showed a gain of 8 oz. Not as bad as it's been but still gaining. I need to figure something out. I just don't know what. Life is stressful at the moment. I'm not about to add to it by worrying myself about it. Until next time... Be Well.
M

When is it time to throw in the towel?

I'm feeling like total failure today. I gained 3.8lbs which leads me to believe I should change the name of this blog. I gave up on my gray dress pants this week because they are just too tight. I skipped Zumba on Monday. I feel like crap. It's getting difficult to breath again and I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. I realize all these things and in my head I think why would anyone let this happen to themselves but I still don't stop. I can't seem to make myself care. I miss those mornings when I would wake up and feel the difference. Feel more energy and just smaller. It made me happy and I am not happy now. How do I get myself to make better choices? How do I stop this insanity? How do I make myself care that I'm killing myself with this behavior? I don't know. Here's hoping this is the week I figure it out. Until next time. Be well.
M

A Challenge may be just what I need.

I've been eating pretty much whatever I want. I haven't even tried to curb what I eat. I've been eating fast food and ice cream. It's all bad. I have been taking the squat challenge which I'm not sure if I mentioned before but as of today I'm up to 135. I lost 1.6lbs this week. If I listed all the terrible things I've eaten in the last week you would know how amazing that is. I have to give credit to the squats since it's the only change. It's helping my pants fit better too although I really need to get moving or I will not fit in them long. I'm going to complete this challenge and not stress over the eating just now. I'll see how things go next week. Until then be well.
M

Not fooling myself

I gained an even 5lbs this week. It was bound to catch up with me. I'm surprised I have haven't had this big of a gain sooner. I am doing the squat challenge and I'm back to Zumba but I'm not fool enough to believe any of that is muscle gain. I desparately need to find a way to turn things around but how? I don't know.
M

I'm still here

Over the last three weeks I've gained a little over 2lbs. That doesn't sound like much but I swear it is the heaviest 2lbs of my life. it feels like 40lbs. I'm seriously lacking any motivation and I disparately need to be challenged. Apparently I can't challenge myself. I did begin the swat challenge yesterday which my thighs are now screaming about. Not as bad as they would be if not for Zumba I'm sure. It's working leg muscles I didn't even know I had. I think that needs to be a daily routine even after the 30days. I'm not giving up although I've been eating terribly. I still believe I will find a way to turn this around. Hopefully before I can't get into my pants anymore. I'm close and I'm sweating it. Just not enough to motivate myself to do anything about it. Until next time.....be well.
M

The Game is on again!

OK, I gained 2.6lbs this week. For those of you who haven't been keeping track that is over  9lbs this month. I am now a total of 46.4lbs up from my lowest lose last summer. I woke up this morning with the most awful pains. Not just muscle and joint pain which I have been having but aches and cramping all through my core. (not monthly sort of cramps.) I'm hurting and all I can think is this is what it feels like to die very slowly. Enough. It's time for me to stop screwing around and get back to business. I had planed to make chicken and rice tonight but as we all know rice is white and therefore a no no. I will make it for my kids but I will either just eat the chicken or I'll have a lean cuisine. It's time for the strict regiment I held myself too before. Obey the rule and lose the weight. Period. No cheat days, no giving myself a break and NO celebrating. Until I meet my goal there is nothing to be proud of because it can all slip away so easily. Until next week, be well.
M

Almost a year.....

It occurs to me that I have been struggling since last April although I didn't really begin to gain untill the end of July. I gained 1.8lbs for the second week in a row. :( It's become a constant thought that I need to find a way back on track. I know my health is in peril but I still eat with wild abandon. I hurt and I feel bad but nothing seems to make me care. I think about how good I felt when I was losing verses how bad I feel now. I continually tell myself that I need to do something but then I give in to every little craving. I don't know what's wrong with me or why I can't make myself care but there has to be a way.  Be well.
M