OK Panic!!!!!!!

I have gained for the second week in a row. 1.6lbs this week. :( What's worse is that I ate bad for 5 days straight. It's a wonder I didn't gain more and I won't be surprised if next week pays for it as well. Yesterday was my son's birthday so I did not go to the gym. Today is a Zumba day thankfully, so I will use that as a way to get back on track. (repeats to self - Nothing tastes as good as thin feels) I fear spiraling back into the fat life. I have too far to go to start slipping now. I'm not even half way! This is definitely something I have to put a stop too right away. I see myself using food as a comfort tool. Right now with the state my life is in I really need the comfort but I need to stay strong. I let myself go for a couple of weeks but I have to stop now or a small gain is going to turn into a big one. If I were a scientist studying myself I would be noting how quickly my body adapted to the fatty foods again. I would also note how quickly my energy was sapped away. I have been so tired for the last two days I can barely keep my head up. Lack of sleep isn't helping there either. It's a good lesson though. I can't stop. The healthy eating the exercise it's all a way of life. It's my life now. If I want to continue to lose weight and be more healthy, I need to keep it up. I think I'll try going to the gym on Thursday this week instead of Friday. It's going to be very hot on Friday. Wish me luck!

DON'T Panic!!!!!

Ok, I gained 2lbs. this week. This is a really bad trend I'm on but I'm not gonna get on myself too hard because I am going through some seriously bad life trauma right now. Times like this or going to happen in life. I hope not too often because right now it's a little ridiculous. I will be strict this week and turn it around. Keep your fingers crossed for me. :)

Doing better than I feel

I lost 3.8lbs this week. That's a real good week. So why do I feel so fat today? Over the previous 2 weeks I gained a total of 5.2lbs and i didn't feel as bad as I do today. I think it will just force me to work harder so that's good. I need to get the other 1.4lbs off so i can start counting over. :)

Life Happens.

Unfortunately, the one thing in life that can not be avoided is life. Everyone has struggles and everyone has their dark moments to survive. I can tell you that the past week and a half has been the darkest I have lived through since my mother died. I'm not going to get into the details but it's not over yet. I gained 1.2lbs last week after the 100lb celebration and the son's 18th birthday. This week I gained a staggering 4lbs. It was a tough blow but not at all surprising. I had some family gatherings and some drinking and I knew I was going to pay. I'm back on track now and I expect that weight to be gone in the next couple of weeks. Then I can focus on taking off the next 100lbs.

One year well spent

Today's weigh in marks 1year and 2 days since this journey began. This week after really working hard I lost 4.6Lbs bringing my total weight loss to 101lbs!!! Not bad for one year. Hopefully by this time next year I will be approaching my goal weight.

so close I can almost taste it.

Happy Wednesday all! After a difficult week where I missed Sunday's gym day and arrived late to Zumba on Monday I was unsure what to expect on the scale. I have been noticing small changes. My wrists are suddenly half the size they once were and my forearms seemed to thin out over night. My legs are getting firmer and smaller. Even my most challenging area, the lower abdomen, finally seems to be getting smaller. Of course after this much weight loss I'm sure it has all been getting smaller by degrees but now I can see it. I feel much better given all that so I was very pleased when I got on the scale to find I had lost 3.4lbs. Big improvement over the last 2 weeks. Now, I am 3.8lbs away from the magic 100lbs lost milestone. (not one of my 12 milestones but still kind of a big deal). I don't expect that I will be able to take that all off next week but hopefully with in 2 weeks I will be able to say I lost 100lbs. Then I will start all over again with the next hundred. I can do it. :)

Looking at the big picture.

I'm a little frustrated today at the fact that I only lost 1.4lbs after all the working out I've been doing. I am feeling the difference though and I look thinner so I'll just ride it out. 7lbs. more til 100lbs. Feels like it is taking forever to get there.

I titled this looking at the big picture because I was talking to a friend yesterday who is around 120lbs give or take a couple of pounds. She is always struggling with those last 5lbs and she was upset yesterday because she had gained 2 sizes and her heavier friends just blew her off because they thought she was already thin. I really felt for her because I think that heavy people in general just don't get it. Someone with only 5lbs to lose will have to work harder than I have had  to lose the 93lbs. I have. Those last few are awful and it doesn't take as much weight for a thinner person to go up a size. When your really big 30lbs is one size but when you get down that small 5lbs is all the difference in the world. I also think that heavy people spend too much time 'wishing the were thin' rather than really asking themselves 'what am I willing to give up to be thin'. Ask anyone who is more than 100lbs over weight and I bet they would tell you anything. The truth is they wouldn't. You know you are really ready to lose all the weight when you can look at your favorite foods and say I am willing to never eat them again to be thin. It doesn't mean that you won't ever eat them but to truly be willing to give them up that's when you have the right mind set. The other thing is to have a firm goal in mind and stick to it. I want to be 120lbs. I don't care if it's 'too thin' or less than I should weigh. It's where I want to be. I can sympathize with my friend because I know the last few pounds is going to be the hardest to lose and I will not be satisfied because I'm close enough. I guess my opinion is that if you're looking at the big picture we all need support and encouragement. Heavy or thin losing weight is hard work.